Communication theorists as relationship mechanics?

Communication theorists as relationship mechanics?

why not bestfriend Griffin?

here's my letter to Jim:

dear jim,

first of all, it annoys me to call you 'dear' because i don't really know you. but that's ok, it doesn't really matter anyway.

i understand that you are having issues with your girlfriend. i'd like to point out that there's this concept about couples. it goes something like this:

"...the closer individuals become to one another, the more conflict will arise to pull them apart."

what i'm trying to say is that what you're going into is normal. totally.

but that's beside the point.

i understand that knowing that someone's hiding something (i'm pertaining to the diary) from you is really unfair--especially when that 'someone' is your girlfriend.

i understand how extremely bothered you are--the more you want to know what's in the diary, the more your girlfriend draws it away from you...even farther!

i understand how much you want your girlfriend to open up some more to you--i mean, after all, she is your girlfriend.

i understand. really. i do.

that's what the relational dialectics, a concept within the communication theory, taught me.

and being the mr. nice guy that i am, i shall share to you what i've learned about this thingy.

ok, so i've never had a girlfriend before, but i totally know how it badly feels when someone i'm close to, in your case, shelley, hide something from me.

according to relational dialectics, for every relationship, there's always CONNECTEDNESS and SEPARATEDNESS.

this means that no relationship can endure unless each individual involved in that relationship spend time alone for themselves. even though it's normal for us to want a cohesive bond in relationships, too much connection with each other may result in the loss of your sense of identity. furthermore, this will make you dependent on her--as in, like, you will find the need to be with her 24/7--believe me on this...i experienced it!

next is that there must be CERTAINTY and UNCERTAINTY. the former gives you a sense of assurance in your relationship and the latter decreases the monotonousness in the same. a little mystery won't hurt--it actually makes your relationship exciting. and not boring.

and finally, probably your favorite, OPENNESS and CLOSEDNESS. ok, maybe the former's just your favorite. i understand why--just like newton's third law of motion, the want of opening one's self up results to another need of privacy. this you must always remember when it comes to relationships: there are struggles and that intimacy doesn't draw a perfect heart. or circle.

and that there are always pulls and tugs that surround it.

i sure do hope that i helped you.
it is now up to you to make changes relative to what i just blabbed about. believe me, it's for the better.

cheers!
jesse ramon

***
the relationship repair shop is now open.
email whateveryourproblemsare at:
thisrelationshiprepairshopdoesreallynotexist[at]welovebogus[dot]com

ok, jim, that would be one pair of 2008 havaianas please...
wahaha